Its been a while since i last wrote and i felt that it was time to start up my adoption blog once again. I haven't felt like I have wanted to think about adoption let alone write about it for a while. Today I learned that our kids- I still call them that even though we didn't adopt them- have been put up for adoption separately. While my heart weeps that they were so hurt that it is better for them to be adopted separately- no child, person, even animal, should have to go through what they did- it also cheers that CO finally decided to do what is best for the kids. I still love those kids so much, I know that it would have torn our family apart if we had gone through with the adoption but that does not mean that we/I did not love those kids with ever fiber of my being. There are still times when the pain of loosing them stops be cold, where all the air is suddenly gone from the room, all the light has left but I can now take a breath and wait for that moment to pass. It feels like there was some good that came out of this pain. Now my babies will get the help they so dearly need. I wish with all my heart and soul that we could have been the ones to heal them but i am comforted to know that they will be getting that help. I just pray now that they each go to their perfect family. Someday they will hopefully know how much we loved them.
Adoption is not for the faint of heart. The government does not make it easy for parents of adoptive children, for the foster care workers, for the kids, or the bio-families. There is soooo much work that needs to be done here in our own country that i simply cannot understand why we spend so much effort and money fighting wars that should not be fought. Don't misunderstand me, i have the utmost respect for soldiers and those who dedicate their lives to making this country safe, I just don't understand why the government cannot use all of these men and women here in our own war zones that are happening on our own soil. This past week I was a substitute at an elementary school that was in what used to be called "the war zone" its not that bad anymore but there is still a heck of a lot still to do. I had SUBbed at a middle school a few days earlier and it seemed like a breeze compared to taking care of those elementary students. I loved working at both places both were such different experiences.
Anyway, I just wanted to write a quick note and say that I am going to be writing again!
Many many blessings to all of you!
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