back on the look out

Mom has been back in the full swing of things adoption wise.  She spends about three hours a day checking email, calling and talking to social workers, looking at profiles of children online, and so many other things.  Anyone who believes that adoption is easy is living in a dream world.  

Today we got a call about a sib group of 8.  They are all very cute kids but boy do they have some major problems!  There are at least two with RAD, all have FAS, as well as the youngest being exposed to Meth before birth- the effects of which are simply horrible,  a few are "bonded" with each other.  The list of things and issues that these kids have go on and on...  Its really sad because non of the problems are really the kids fault but they are stuck with them.  

We have turned down two more groups in the past two weeks.  One was for a group of 8 and the other was a sib group of 2.  We decided that we are just not ready for 8 kids with the issues that these little ones had.  They were really good kids but we didn't think we could give them the home they really deserved because we would be so overwhelmed by the shear number of them!  

The two were in some ways perfect for us.  The 9 year old boy does art when he gets upset, he has been working on his issues through therapy and on his own- and he does have some major issues, he loves to read, do outdoor things, and play games.  The little girl who is 4, is a really girly girl who loves to dress up, play house, play with dolls, have people read to her, watch movies, and more...  These little ones went through some unspeakably horrible events but they seem to be working through that past extremely well.  That does not mean that there is not a LOT of work left to do but it is a wonderful thing seeing kids wanting to survive and thrive.  Unfortunately, mom felt nothing for these kids.  No maternal instinct- which for her is extremely strange since she feels motherly to everyone she meets.  For me the little boy as wonderful as he sounds when the social worker talked about him and everything we read about him but when i looked at a picture of him...i got creeped out.  I cannot explain it but it was something behind his eyes that just made me very nervous.   So even though there was no solid reason to say no- we (mom) wrote their social worker and told her thank you for all of her help and honesty but that we just could not go ahead with the group.   

So still we look, trying to find the group of kids or child that will fit into our family.  I imagine that a few years from now we may have a large family (3 more kids? 6? 10? who knows?!) but right now we are just trying to figure out what God wants us to do.  So we will wait for the Will of Heaven...and the will of the social workers!