The end of summer (or at least the start of school)

The giggles of children being dressed for bed waft from the living room. I guiltily hunch over my computer and type into it trying to avoid being drawn into the bedtime dynamics. Its not that I do not love putting the little ones to bed or being part of that scene. In fact, I love every part of taking care of the littles. Tonight, though I do not want to be a mom. I'm not even really a mom but there are days that I feel as if I have all of the responsibilities of being a parent. As the prospect of school starts to loom closer and closer (35 hours and 40 minutes) I am beginning to panic.

I didn't have a vacation this summer. I never went away and sipped Margaritas on a beach or paddled fearlessly through class 5 rapids. I didn't even get away for twenty-four hours to read a book quietly or sing at the top of my lungs without having to worry about waking the baby. Yet, even as the panic of taking on even more responsibilities to my already full plate begins to make my heart beat faster and my body break out into a cold sweat I know that I did have a wonderful summer. I got to spend an afternoon here or there reading a good book, I baked some delicious pies, made a ton of cookies, learned how to sew (sort of ), spent a few evenings with good friends, and was hugged and kissed at least a thousand times by three wonderful children. It wasn't the summer I was hoping for or dreaming about but in the end it I think singing “Hush little baby” as a little bundle of joy snuggles into my lap a little bit more is much better than watching the sunset on a beach with a margarita. So I thank you summer for teaching me many things and bringing me much joy! I bid you farewell knowing that next year you will be teaching me all new hard and wonderful lessons.

cabbage and ground beef (err turkey)

A family dish that is made usually at least once a month is that of cabbage and ground turkey. The "real" recipe calls for ground beef but since most of the people in our household do not eat red meat more than once in a blue moon we substitute with ground turkey. Brown the meat. Cut up half a cabbage (sometime a bit more, sometimes a bit less) add it to the meat. Cover and let cook. We like it when the cabbage is almost to the transparent point. Add a liberal sprinkling of Braggs Amino Acid or soy sauce (I am sure the original recipe called for a different seasoning but this is what my family prefers) and it is done. I don't know if this is a traditional Mennonite dish but since my great grandpa used to make it, my grandpa makes it, and now my family makes it we consider it a family tradition.

Its funny how when I think about it how many things my family does or has that have been passed down from generation to generation. One such treasured object is a cutting board.

With the names Arnold and Ruth and the year 1937 carved onto the bottom of the board. They are hardly legible after all of these years but every time I take out the board I am filled with a quiet happiness knowing that my great grandfather carved it for my great grandmother as a wedding present. That for years she prepared meals with love using it and then after she died it was passed on to my mother who also puts a great deal of love into everything she does. Before his hands became to shaky to hold a carving knife my Great-grandpa also cut and carved a board for my parents. It is my hope that someday I too will have a cutting board with my name and my husband's.

Tonight I made "Poor Man's Cookies" a recipe from my great-grandmother's hand written records. The first time I made them they came out great. Tonight I made them again. They did not turn out as perfect. First off, I added a bit more water to the recipe (because the dough was a bit too dry last time) and instead of greasing the cookie sheets I sprayed them with cooking oil (err the really bad part- it was olive oil) and instead of slightly puffy lovely cookies they are completely flat slightly olively cookies. While I perhaps, do not believe they came out wonderfully, the lovely thing about having younger siblings is that they seem to love almost anything I cook- especially if it has sugar in it! So as I munch on a very flat cookie, contemplating how I could improve it the next go around, two very happy little boys stuff cookies into their mouths and call out slightly muffled thanks. I think that is the very best part of family or at least my family. Even during times in my life when I feel down or like I am missing something, a smile or a hug or even the muffled thanks from a cookie filled mouth cheers me right up and lets me know that I am loved.