faith

I am working on having more faith.  God has given my family so much and has taken care of us when we truly needed it, how can I not have faith?  I know I talk a lot about God or Goddess or the universe in this blog.  I probably talk more about my faith and spirituality here than I do anywhere except within my home with my family.  God plays a huge part in my life.  Since I was very young I have known that He/She was with me always.  Sometimes I lose sight of God but that does not mean that He/She is not always with me.   I am not specifically religious however.  Pagan spirituality and religions have always intrigued me.  For a long time I associated myself as being Wiccan.  In some ways I still do but lately the simple or plain way of living that  (some) Mennonites and the Amish have has been drawing me.   I feel pulled in two very different directions.  One is the life in the movie business, the fast pace, the adrenaline, the money, everything....the second direction is giving up most modern day conveniences and living the Plain way.  I have even considered dressing Plain.   I love God, when I start to get down if I remember God (I am working on doing that all the time!) I am filled with peace and usually with happiness.  However, I am not as fond of the way Christianity portrayed by people today.   Peace is a BIG deal to me and I do not like how many Christians believe that God and Peace are totally separate. This is not an attack on anyone or anyone's beliefs it is simply how i feel- nothing more nothing less.  I am not fond of the Bible- that is not right I am not fond of the hateful things people have done in its name.    

You know how most people run and hid when the Jahveh Witnesses come to their door- well sometimes I do too but most of the time I answer the door.  I am polite and I agree with them on their points when I think they are true.  Do I read thorough their pamphlets?  No, not usually but I do seem to feel happier when they leave (not because they have left!) because they are usually so filled with God's light and peace that it is hard not to like people who have such faith.  I am not saying I am going to become a Jahveh Witness but I admire them for their commitment and faith.  Just as I admire anyone else from any religion that shows such faith and shines with such love and light.  God is a wonderful thing no matter what form He/She takes.